The Diagnosis...Wa, Wa, Wa!!

There I was, minding my own pregnant business. I was so excited to be pregnant with my little baby boy. We were so prepared for this little guy. I was not the best pregnant person...I might have complained a little, but I was very excited. One huge (and when I say huge, I mean HUGE) complaint was my SIZE G boobs...disgusting!! I hated them...I think they were bigger than my belly. I remember complaining a lot about these things (if I only knew)!

I think I found the lump around 20 something weeks, but I didn't say anything because I thought it was just another annoying thing about these boobs!! I would have ignored it, but it grew so fast in such a short time. I started to freak out. I finally told my husband (an OB/GYN), and we told my doctor the following week. Here we go, lots of probing, poking, rubbing, cutting on this poor little (I mean...HUGE) boob!! My doctor felt the lump and said it felt large, so he sent me to get an ultrasound. This all started around 30 weeks. This guy reading the ultrasound had this look in his eyes like he saw a ghost...it made me a tad nervous. I left, called my husband and told him that I might have cancer...yikes. I went home and my husband showed up shortly after me...he was very upset. He said he talked to my doctor that told him that it was pretty much cancer. WOW...are you kidding me!! But, I'm pregnant. Talk about going into a downward spiral of thoughts. That was a Friday, the following Monday I was in another doctor's office getting a needle biopsy...NOT pleasant!! Now we wait, and wait, and wait...it felt like it took 2 months to hear back about the biopsy. Finally, it came back inconclusive...are you kidding...inconclusive!! Now what? I was about 33 weeks pregnant when I went in for a lumpectomy. I was so nervous about my little guy in my belly. This was going to be his first surgery, so they had to monitor his heartbeat throughout the surgery. We all made it out OK. Now we wait, and wait, and wait to hear the results. Again, it felt like forever! Finally, my worst nightmare was happening...it came back as Stage II breast cancer. Stupid boob!!!! The only thing we did not know, was if it had spread to my lymph nodes. We had to deliver the baby (Brady) first before we could do that surgery. I was still very excited to have a baby, I was just so worried about him being OK being delivered early, and if I was going to live to be his mom. I had such awful thoughts of him growing up without me...I thought for sure I wasn't going to make it. When you hear that you have "cancer," you think, I'm DEAD! This is it!!